A Ramp Ceremony

Tonight I went to my first Ramp Ceremony. It was a heart breaking experience. There were probably a thousand or more soldiers, airmen, marines, etc. out on the ramp in two columns leaving a "center aisle", if you will, for the caskets to get carried to the C-17 that was waiting to take them home. They read a short obituary for the 2 fallen soldiers going home tonight. And I couldn't hold back a tear as they both left behind a wife and children. It made this war even more real than it already was knowing that as we stood there on this ramp in this foreign country there were 2 women and 3 sons and daughters weeping because their love and their daddy will never be seen by them again. They had said their goodbyes. And as these men were unloaded from the truck all the US forces were commanded with the same commands, be they Army, Air Force, or Marines. It made me proud to be a part of such a great heritage as I related back to the commands that were yelled on the Civil War battlefield at Shiloh National Miitary Park we recently visited. All the coalition forces were represented there as well; with their funny marches, strange hats (some with flowers in them), and foreign commands. But when all united and told to come to attention, there we stood silent and still. And when told to render arms, there we all saluted in unison. The colors were drawn and the bagpipes played as fellow Army soldiers, brothers in arms, carried their fallen comrades with flag draped coffins, one by one, the 150 yards or so to their last flight home. As the cargo doors on the plane closed, the most meaningful and beautifully haunting version of taps to sweep across my ears echoed into the darkness from a lone bugler. Even though my arm was sore from holding a salute for so long, somehow it was my heart that felt the pain.

Why am I here? Why am I here. I couldn't give you a big patriotic answer that would satisfy both a political agenda and a lofty sense of moral rightness. But I do know one thing. And that is what I originally joined the service for is still poignant in moments like tonight: I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself. And here I am. Here I am. Standing on the receiving end of a gracious God giving me the desires of my heart. "Be careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get it all; you just might get it all and then some you don't want." Darn that Daughtry. I didn't want to be out here practically on the front lines making my family risk my life because of my desire to be fully engaged with what I felt like God had placed in my heart. But here I am. Fully engaged. Sometimes I feel like I didn't think it through enough. Like I didn't examine all the consequences of raising my right hand and what it would drag Jade and the kids into. So I am torn like a muscle, and really in pain right now. For to remain would have been more comfortable, but to move and stretch myself was and still is more painful and healthy.